Daily Prompt: Water

At first, pit-pat of tiny hand on water,

Accompanied by gurgle and coo.

Perfect, gentle harmony.

Later on, with splash and splosh,

Rubber duckies, bubbles and squirt toys.

I hear the laughter even now.

Next, first visit to the sea,

Big eyes even bigger at the sight.

The whoosh of crashing into waves with squeals of delight.

Now, muddy rain puddles; the big treat.

Squelch and splat,

Mischievous eyes and cheeky grin.

-Gitanjali Singh Cherian

In response to the Daily Prompt of 28th June 2016 – Water

Note: This is a work-in-progress and will be revised at some point in the future 🙂

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Daily Prompt: Deprive

I often wonder, as I’m sure many parents do, whether I will be able to provide for my son all that he requires as he grows from a child to an adult, or whether circumstances may force me to deprive him of certain things. It’s so easy to worry about the future when you have a child, whether or not the present situation warrants it. For example, will he be deprived of:

  • a good education?
  • all the right opportunities in his life?
  • a room of his own?

My list goes on. There are major worries and there are small, silly worries. There justified worries and unwarranted ones, the latter merely a creation of my over-thinking mind.

The realisation has however dawned on me that one cannot know today what tomorrow will bring. So many times, as life has already shown me, we find ourselves victims of circumstances that have eluded our control.

Thus while I can of course do my best to ensure that my son is not deprived of the things I would like him to experience in his life, I have to recognise that in the future there will be some circumstances that will be beyond my control. I might not be able to do anything about them when they occur and I certainly cannot do anything about them right now. Hence worrying about these things, and getting stressed and upset is indeed a waste of ‘NOW’.

This thinking has led me to another realisation, which is that there are certain things that are in my control and that I need never deprive my son of: Continue reading

Seeing Stars! (A foray into children’s birthday parties)

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One day, when my son was around five or six months old, it dawned on me that I would soon have to enter the world of children’s birthday parties. I had never been part of organising one and other than those I’d been a part of as a child, I hadn’t even attended many.

This post is two months overdue! But seeing as today is MY birthday, perhaps it is an appropriate day to (finally!) write about – or rather share through photos – what I did for my son’s first birthday party. Continue reading

An Apology To The Mothers I’ve Judged

Over 2011 and 2012 (Before the birth of my son)

What I heard a mother say to her husband, regarding her child: “You have to cancel your plans this weekend, because I’ve decided I’m going out on both nights. You have to stay at home with him. I need a break.”

What I thought: “He made his plans 2 weeks ago, why should he have to cancel! How selfish! Why did she have a child if she didn’t want to look after him?”

What I saw: A mother scream at her 3 year old son, when he kept refusing to eat his lunch.

What I thought:  “How can you scream at him? He is just a child. You’re a mother. You just have to be patient.”

Over 2012 and 2013 (After the birth of my son)

Scene: My 4 month old son has been crying non-stop and I’ve tried everything to soothe him. Finally after nearly an hour and a half, he stops.

I feel: Relieved that his discomfort is finally over, but emotionally drained from having to hear his cries. Not being able to do anything about it was so frustrating. I am mentally exhausted. I feel I need a break.

Scene: I’m trying to have a phone conversation about something very important and my 10 month old son who has just been fed and changed, is refusing to play with his toys and is continuing an incessant ‘protest’ in the background, making it very difficult for me to focus on what I’m saying.

My reaction: I turn to him and scream, “God, can you just shut up for 5 minutes!”

Scene: It’s 10pm and I’m alone at home with my 11 month old son who is refusing to sleep. He is crawling all over the apartment and wants to play peek-a-boo.

I think: I am SO tired, I just want to have dinner and go to sleep. I need a break from doing this every single day.

To the mothers I have judged:

I used to judge you. I was wrong.

Today I am one of you. Today I understand.

I understand how you must have felt:

– Overwhelmed

– Terrible about yelling at your child

– Like you’re about to go out of your mind

– Tiredness like you’ve never known before

– Frustrated

– Like you just ‘needed a break’

I also understand that all this is not an indication of how much you love your child or of the lengths you’d go to ensure his/her well-being.

But above all, I understand that you…..and I….. are human beings.

Inspired by http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/18/daily-post-transition/

 

Inadvertent Life Lessons From My Son’s First Year

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I have been bogged down recently by commitments and obligations to others and unexpected events that have suddenly called for my attention. I have made these things a priority and as a result, I have not written about something I’ve been intending to write about, for nearly the past 2 months. It is quite disheartening to me some days (and very much so today) that I have to ‘fight’ to make the time to write for my blog and to focus on the work I want to do. I am sure there are many mothers, daughters, wives and women who play several other roles out there, who find themselves in the same predicament.

But, I digress. What I wanted to write about was the changes the first year of my son’s life have brought about in my life.

I am not talking about the sleepless nights, the endless tiredness, the days of despair, the anxiety when he’s been sick, the worry that you may not be doing something right – any mother must know this endless list I speak of!

I am talking about the unexpected positive impact all these ‘difficulties’ have had on me and the way I look at life. Continue reading